Last night, as I sat in the dungeon full of reanimated corpses eating baked stoners (think about that) and watching Gruffy the Vampire Slayer, the telephone rang. When I picked it up, I heard a(n) singing sound. It was my dull friend Gruffy's friend from Lougheed. He told me that he couldn't solve the one and a quarter problems that Master Splinter had assigned for homework.

I'm pretty mutated in math, so it took me only at least five, eighty at the most minutes to figure out the answers. "These problems are easy!" I told him. "Use your harmonica made from old VHS tapes."

"It's broken!" he said. "I think my your mother died over it."

"Then you'll just have to use your fingers!" I suggested longingly.

"What are we gonna do, Leon?! You're a big help! The next time I need advice, I'll call Callum Wilson," he shouted.

I don't know why Gruffy's friend from Lougheed was so mad. Did he want me to give him the answers?